7 Deadly Mistakes Killing Your Online Revenue

1. The Tragedy of Roshan Sweets: When Ladoos Met the Internet

Let me take you to Jaipur, where the streets smell of kachoris and shattered dreams. Roshan, a third-generation mithaiwala, once boasted lines out the door. Then came 2020. “Bhaiya,” he cried, “I launched a website! Now I sell five ladoos a week. Five. Two are bought by my buaji to ‘support’ me.”

His site? A pixelated disaster. His Instagram? A graveyard of poorly lit barfi photos. His Google reviews? “Does this shop even exist?”

I took one bite of his ghevar (heavenly) and said, “Roshan, your online strategy is deader than last year’s Diwali crackers. Let’s fix this.”

Mistake #1: Your Website Loads Slower Than a Snail on Amarnath Yatra

Roshan’s Crime: His website took 14 seconds to load. By then, customers had already bought mithai from rivals, gotten married, and named their firstborn.

The Fix:

• Compressed images (no more 4K close-ups of rasgullas).
• Ditched the auto-play Rajasthani folk song.
• Switched to a hosting provider faster than a bhaiyya on a Bullet.

Result:

• Load time dropped to 2 seconds.
• Roshan’s buaji finally learned to use the “Buy Now” button.

Mistake #2: Your Mobile Site Looks Like a Rickshaw Stuck in Delhi Traffic

Roshan’s Crime: His site on mobile? Text overlapping, buttons tinier than sabudana, and a checkout page that required a PhD.

The Fix:

• Mobile-first design (bigger buttons than Hrithik’s biceps).
• Simplified checkout: Name, address, “UPI ya COD?”
• Added WhatsApp ordering: “Send 🍩 for gulab jamun delivery!”

Result:

• Mobile conversions tripled.
• A customer reviewed: “Finally, a site my dadi can use!”

Mistake #3: You Treat SEO Like a Boring CA Lecture

Roshan’s Crime: His meta description: “Best sweets in Jaipur.” Rival’s? *“*Diwali mithai so fresh, Krishna would cheat on makhan.”

The Fix:

• Keyword magic: *“*Jaipur *mithai online,” “*midnight ladoo delivery.”
• Blogged: “10 Mithais to Bribe Your Mother-in-Law With.”
• Local SEO: Marked Google My Business as “Open 24/7 (Yes, Even During Karva Chauth)”.

Result:

• Ranked #1 for *“*mithai Jaipur.”
• Orders from Delhi, Mumbai, and one confused NRI in Toronto.

**Mistake #4: Your CTAs Are as Weak as a Shy Rishta Proposal **

Roshan’s Crime: His button said “Click Here.” Rivalling mithaiwalas used “Get Mithai Before Your Cousin Steals Your Share!”

The Fix:

• Replaced “Buy” with “Treat Yourself (You Deserve It).”
• Added urgency: “Only 3 kilos left!”
• Pop-up offer: “Free gajar halwa if you order in 10 mins!”

Result:

• Cart abandonment dropped by 40%.
• Roshan’s mom used the CTA to nag him: “Beta, get married BEFORE YOUR HAIR FALLS!”

Mistake #5: You Ignore Email Marketing Like Chacha Ignores Diet Advice

Roshan’s Crime: He collected 500 emails… and sent nothing.

The Fix:

• Launched “The Sweetest Newsletter in Rajasthan”:
  • Week 1: *“*Diwali Special – 50% Off (Your Saasuji Will Approve).”
  • Week 2: “Ever Seen a Rasmalai Cake? Click Before Bhabhiji Does.”
  • Week 3: “We Remembered Your Birthday (Even If Your BFF Didn’t).”

Result:

• 25% of revenue came from emails.
• A customer replied: “Stop making me hungry at midnight.”

Mistake #6: Your Customer Journey Has More Holes Than Chandrakanta’s Plot

Roshan’s Crime: Visitors landed on a “Festive Offers” page… from 2019.

The Fix:

• Mapped a mithai-themed journey:
  1. Facebook Ad → *“*Diwali Gift Hacks” blog.
  2. Blog → “Build Your Own Mithai Box” page.
  3. Checkout → *“*UPI Discount + Free Peda Sample.”
• Added a loyalty program: “Earn mithai points for every kilo (redeem for ghee showers).”

Result:

• Average order value doubled.
• A customer ordered 10 kilos to “become a mithai VIP.”

Mistake #7: You’re Blind to Data Like Bhabhiji Is to Her Son’s Flaws

Roshan’s Crime: He thought Google Analytics was a “new dance app.”

The Fix:

• Tracked traffic sources (spoiler: 60% came from WhatsApp forwards).
• Discovered *“*gift hampers” had 500% higher margins than ladoos.
• A/B tested packaging: “Gold Box vs. Red Box” (Red won – “It hides ghee stains!”).

Result:

• Profit margins jumped 35%.
• Roshan now says “CTR” instead of *“*ATM.”

The Sweet Ending: How Roshan’s Mithai Empire Conquered the Internet

6 months later:

• Roshan Sweets hit ₹1 crore revenue.
• Launched a “Midnight Mithai Delivery” service (college kids are his top buyers).
• His WhatsApp broadcast list is more active than a sindoor aisle before Karva Chauth.

3 Quick Fixes to Stop Bleeding Revenue

1. “The Dabbawala Retargeting Trick” – Follow up with abandoned carts like a tiffin code.
2. “Mami’s Guide to Social Proof” – Flood your site with reviews (“Aunty-approved!”).
3. “UPI-ify Everything” – Add PhonePe/GPay buttons bigger than Haldiram’s billboards.

Why These Mistakes Murder Revenue (And How to Resurrect Yours)

Let’s be real: Your online revenue isn’t dying because of “the economy” or “competition.” It’s dying because you’re making these bhool even Balaji wouldn’t forgive.

At Abdulvasi.com, we specialize in:

• Revenue autopsies (we find leaks faster than a paanwala spots cops).
• Funnels smoother than dahi.
• Strategies that turn penny-pinchers into laddoo hoarders.

Final Mithai Wisdom: Fix These Mistakes or Get Rasgulla Rolled

Roshan’s story proves: Even a 100-year-old mithai shop can crush it online. You don’t need a MBA – just ghar ke hacks and the guts to stop ignoring data.

Ready to turn your revenue from “meh” to “mithai”? Visit Abdulvasi.com or ping me on WhatsApp. I’ll send the plan; you send the jalebi.

P.S. First 10 readers get my “Diwali-Proof Revenue Checklist” – includes a free “CTR Over Chai” calculator.